Well, I thought it was only fitting to post a couple links that I discovered while searching the net the other night, in relation to this glorifying holiday that all single people dread and even as a married woman, I cease to see the value in (unless you own a chocolatrie, flower shop, jewelery store, and lets just put it out there....pawn shop?! LOL!!!)
So in an attempt to make a few of you giggle from deep down, to follow is a list of links that may generate some laughter!!!!
When you just don't have the words...let Cupids Dear John Letter Generator help you find them!
Even the hillbillies have it rough at this time of year...Backwoods Apology
One brilliant explanation of To Bling Or Not To Bling
If you simply can't bear to be alone...use this Cheesy Pick Up Line to hook you up!
And finally, without further ado, here is our Top 15 List of What NOT To Get Her for Valenitines Day...
1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
2. Flowers from a hospitals gift shop--or worse, a mortuarys.
3. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didnt.
4. Anything that even remotely implies that she is not physically perfect: gym memberships, Botox, diet plan subscriptions, self help books and the like.
5. A bathing suit. Unless it comes with a trip to the Bahamas, she does not want your input on this personal matter. What's more, you're likely to give her an anxiety attack when she thinks about trying it on (especially after the great binge/food fest with the in-laws that were the Holidays 2008).
6. Toys. Women usually do not want video games. We might occasionally like to kick your butt in Wii, but that does not mean we want Street Fighter II (or whatever game it is you're playing).
7. Homemade coupons. Whether they're for dish duty, garbage duty, dinner, or something else, she's not likely to be impressed. Did your high school girlfriend even use hers?
8. A gift certificate. Step it up with something a little more personal--unless it's for 300 dollars and you can't wait to take her to the store and shop. All. Day.
9. Food. Unless you're the Iron Chef or Gordon Ramsay, skip anything home-baked. When her friends ask what you got her for V-day, she does not want to have to regurgitate. Literally.
10. A magazine subscription. Bo-ring.
11. Tickets to the "big game." Hate to break it to you, but when she said she loved football, she was lying. Save the sports stuff for your buddies.
12. A DVD box set of your favorite show. You've both already seen every episode. It will just accumulate dust with the rest of the collection.
13. Same goes for CDs. Hello, iTunes.
14. Appliances. Every man has made this guffaw. Just because she says, "I need a new vacuum" does not mean you should buy her a vacuum. This includes any household item, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears!
15. An apologetic look followed by the words "Was that today?"
Valentines Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card!