The Fine Print

All content, including text, design work, and photographs on this site are ©Bootybella Designs. Everything I share here is for personal inspiration and may not be copied for submission to contests, magazines, etc.You are welcome to case my artwork. I feel that is a form of flattery. Please give credit by posting a link back here, to my blog.

Thank you for your support!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

A New Year...A New Start to Old Habits!!!!

For some, New Years offers us a sort of “get out of jail” card, and allows us to make some promises to change our lives from here on in!!! What a fantastic ploy we play with ourselves to make a deal with the devil for mainly, what I have found as, dissapointment. So a few years ago, I forbade the practice of making new years resolutions, rationing…if I don’t make them, I can’t break them!!!!
So in welcoming in 2009, I will post some “REALISTIC” statements that I have stumbled on over the years. These may (or may not…) let you start your new year with a chuckle or two!!!
* I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
* I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
* I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
* I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
* I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
* I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
* I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
* I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
* I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
* I will not tell the same story at every get together.
* I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
*Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my pj’s. Instead, I will take my laptop into the bedroom with me.
* I will eat ice-cream at midnight - every midnight of the year!
* I will not let the dog hog the pillow, growl at me from the sofa, and snatch the bun from my plate - this year he's going to learn that I'm the Alpha of the house and only I get to do certain things!
* If I see a UFO I won’t tell anyone about it.
* I'm going to learn cusswords in different languages. Broaden my vocabulary.
* I will not tell lies – ok, that might be a lie…..
* I will balance my checkbook….on my nose!
* I resolve to be nice to people without bringing Jesus into the equation.
* With that cloned cow having given birth and everything, I resolve to pay more attention to where my food comes from this next year.
* I hope to be able to make people think happy thoughts when they think of me.
* I will go on long ego trips.
* I will prognosticate that I will probably procrastinate engaging in all the objectives I have premeditated for this approaching twelvemonth.
* Chat more over phone.
* Read less.
* Stop exercising. I will only run at high speeds if a wild animal is chasing me.
* Procrastinate more.
* Drink. Drink some more.
* Start being superstitious.
* Spend less time at work.
* Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
* Take up a new habit: Maybe smoking!
* I will not shout at the top of my lungs in the dark, as I am hiding behind the door to scare my husband as he is trying to find his way in the dark to the bedroom!! I thought it was funny but appartently not!
* I will remember that life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
* I will remember it isn't worthwhile wrestling with pigs - you get all muddy and don't the pigs just love it!
* I will take neither myself nor any of the above seriously.

Happy New Years' 2009 to all the sistah's!!!! MWAH!!!!!


Anne said...

Happy New Year Bootybella from your SBS Sistah!

Debby said...

This is wonderful and hilarious! Thanks!